The 4 Seasons of Marriage
Today keeping with the theme of Love for February, I am going to talk about the 4 seasons of marriage. As rightly so the seasons are Spring, Summer, Fall, and Winter. However, they do not coincide with the seasons of nature. These are seasons of marriage that couples move through and each season promotes the next. As I further dive into this topic you will see that the seasons are not always easy and positive but if you continue to work at your marriage those tough times will help you find the positive times. Confusing right?
The 4 Seasons of Marriage
- Spring. Think of Spring as the beginning of the marriage, newlyweds. There is an excitement of creating a new life together. This is not just reserved for newlyweds but also those couples that maybe have gone through some rough times and have decided to start fresh or reaffirm their love. In this season, marriage is characterized by hope, happiness, excitement, joy. You may feel anticipation about the future and are always looking for ways to deepen your relationship. Spring also comes with some irritations. Just like spring in nature. We have seasonal allergies and hay fever. In the spring season of marriage, the negativity can occur when one partner feels they are doing more than the other or become hurt when they feel their excitement is not matched by their partner.
- Summer. When we think of summer in nature we think of fun right? It is beautiful outside, we are going to the lake, fishing, taking vacations. Well, the summer season of marriage is very similar. Life is beautiful. Spouses are satisfied, secure in each others love. They feel accomplished, connected, peaceful. This is also the growing phase of marriage. However, just like summer in nature, everything must be tended. If you do not water the grass, it will die. This is the time of marriage when any unresolved conflicts must be addressed.
- Fall. Think of fall as many years into the marriage. Others may think your marriage appears perfect. However, fall is a time of change. Maybe you have started a family and your attention has shifted from each other to the baby. It is true that spouses become jealous of the shift in attention. Emotions in this season are high. There is apprehension, rejection, resentment, loneliness, and emotional depletion. However, there is also the joy of starting a family and bringing a little one into the world. Think of fall as the fork in the road. This is where the pavement hits the dirt. Your attitude in the fall season will determine how winter will be.
- Winter. Just like nature, winter is characterized by coldness, harshness, and bitterness. Communication may be limited and only about immediate matters like finances, schedules, etc. You may feel like you are living with a roommate instead of a spouse. Sometimes empty nest syndrome plays a big role in this phase. Once your life was filled with kids and the focus shifted from your spouse. Now the kids have left home and you realize you do not really know your spouse anymore. This is just a feeling though. You do know your spouse. You just have to make a decision to reconnect again and shift the focus back to your marriage. The winter phase is full of silence, loneliness, and hopelessness. Sometimes in this phase, we find ourselves detaching ourselves from the situation instead of addressing it. If you do not give up and you persevere the next phase is spring again. So don’t give up.
What do you do?
Here is the thing. Just like nature, seasons are forever changing and they do not last an exact amount of time. Marriage moves through these seasons and hopefully evolves. When you learned in fall may help you in winter. The happiness you felt in spring might be what you have to hold onto to get you through that harsh winter. Marriage is not easy. And if it was, then it is not worth having. Knowing what season your marriage is in and what to expect I think helps.
I hope you enjoyed today’s post. Comment below what you think about the seasons of marriage. XOXO