9 Tips for Parenting
First, let me say I am not perfect at being a parent. Daily it is still a learning experience. I have a 21 year old daughter and a 16 year old son. You would think that I would have mastered this by now. And to make it even more complicated, no two kids are alike. Therefore, what works with one kid probably will not work for the other kid.
Raising teenagers and young adults is hard. Extremely hard! There are days I want to just throw my hands in the air and give up, there are days when I think “ok I’m doing something right.” You will have days when you feel like a complete failure and think you have ruined your kids. You will have days where you are so proud your heart feels like it is going to explode right out of your chest!
So these tips are tips I use. They are not from a book or some psychologist. They are tried and true tips that I use, or at least attempt to. These are things that my mom taught me and things I learned the hard way. And as I write this I am saying a quick prayer that today is a good parenting day!
Tips for Parenting #1
Remain calm. Read that again. Now say it out loud. Remaining calm is imperative. As a parent, we tend to yell or freak out. Once the yelling begins your kid has already tuned you out. All they can hear is yelling. Anything you say at that moment will not make a difference in the grand scheme of things.
Tips for Parenting #2
Expectations. We place expectations on our kids and that is needed. However, we need to evaluate those expectations. For example; You might expect your little Susie to bring home all A’s for her entire school life. Well, maybe little Susie has trouble seeing the board, or she can’t hear very well because of frequent ear infections. But, she does not want to disappoint you so she struggles to get all A’s but in the meantime, she is also having anxiety, starting to develop depression, has a fear of disappointment. Little Susie is not going to tell you these things because again, she does not want to upset you.
Parents, not all kids are going to make straight A’s. When your kid goes to that interview when they are 21 or so, that manager is not gonna say, “Well Susie, what grade did you get in biology in 7th grade?” I know it is so cool for your get to get A-B honor roll and to walk across the stage and get all their little ribbons but just be careful that you are not pushing little Susie so hard that one day she is going to crack.
Tips for Parenting #3
Listen. Listen to your kid. And listen without judgment. Do not over talk him/her. I will say this is the hardest for me. Even if what they are saying is completely wrong, let them finish saying it before you put your two cents in. Because you never know. Maybe what they have to say will completely change the outlook on the situation. So really, really listen!
Tips for Parenting #4
Don’t argue. You are the adult. Make a choice. DO NOT argue with a child. It is just ridiculous. If you are mad and they are mad then take a time out. Both of you. Walk away from the situation until everyone is calm. I tell my kids all the time, “I will not argue with a teenager.” Once you are calm, then go back to your kid and let them know what they did was not right. Express your concerns and do not forget to listen to theirs. That brings me into my next tip.
Tips for Parenting #5
Remember their age. I cringe when I am out in public and see a toddler get yelled at in a restaurant because there are smushed crackers on the floor or they cannot sit still in the booth. I just want to go over there and be like, “Your kid is two, it is their job to smush crackers, and no they do not have a little time spans to sit still for two hours while you gossip with your girlfriend over chips and salsa.” The same goes for teenagers. Yes, they are going to talk back. I am not saying that it is ok or that you should let it ride every time. However, learn to pick your battles! If your kid is running his mouth just say, “Hey that’s enough.” Not everything needs to be a big deal. Sometimes stop and think about what kind of a teenager were you. Did you talk back? Did you miss curfew?
Tips for Parenting #6
Set rules. Set rules but do not write them in concrete. What works for one kid will not work for all of them. And though rules are not made to be broken you and your child both have to learn compromise.
Tips for Parenting #7
Do not criticize. Let me explain this a little more. If a situation pops up and you can make is a learning opportunity then by all means do! However, be careful of how you criticize your kid. If little Susie walks out of her bedroom dressed for school and she worked so hard putting together this little outfit that consists of non-matching socks, a turtle neck when it is 80 degrees outside and her hair a hot mess, BUT she loves it. Well, then you love it!
We have to let our kids express themselves and develop their own personalities. As they grow from little ones to big ones they will hit every weird phase along the way. Embrace it and them. They will pass through that phase and one day when they are a parent they will remember that you stood by them and did not make fun of them.
Tips for Parenting #8
Let them make mistakes. I know this one is so so hard. I do not know how many times I have wanted to jump in and just take over a situation. And sometimes I am still guilty of that. But we have to stop. They will never learn on their own if you are constantly stepping in fixing everything. This is how they develop life skills. Seriously, unless they are about to do something that is going to harm them, then let them do it and never say I TOLD YOU SO. Instead, just answer their questions when they ask how to fix their mistakes.
Tips for Parenting #9
Teach. Teach your kids about empathy, compassion, love, caring for others, sharing, being kind. Teach your kids that everyone is different. Teach your kids about respect, how to give it and how to earn it. Teach your kids that it is ok to make mistakes as long as we are learning from them. Teach your kids!
This concludes my parenting tips! These are just a few but to me some of the most important ones. As always please like my post if you enjoyed it, subscribe, follow so you get my daily notification. And share it on your Facebook or with a friend. And please leave comments! I love reading the comments. And check out this website about how effective positive parenting really is! xoxo